You find yourself typing 'com' after every period when using a word processor.

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You start introducing yourself as [email protected].

Your spouse drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you what they look like.

All your friends have an '@' in their name.

You can't call your mother - she doesn't have a modem.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

You tell the cab driver you live at: http://13.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

You move into a new house and decide to netscape before you landscape.

You refer to 'going to the bathroom' as [downloading].

You laugh at people with 2400 modems.

Your spouse makes a new rule: 'the computer can't come to bed.'

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-)

You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.

Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat...

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.1 or higher."

You name your children Eudora, Pegasus and Dotcom.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your child in the overhead compartment.

You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two just for the free Internet access.

You start using smileys in your snail mail.

The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.

Your hard drive crashes...You haven't logged in for 2 hours! You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. AND YOU SUCCEED!

You have to get a 2nd job to pay your phone bill.

Your gravestone will have a quit message instead of RIP.

There is absolutely no interesting conversation in any of the rooms on mirc, but you stay on just in case you miss something.

You double click on your tv remote control.

You can now type over 70 wpm.

You spend at least 30 minutes making sure everyone says goodbye to you.

You read the idea about replacing your chair with a toilet and try to do it.

You join a help channel and end up answering the questions instead of asking the question that you needed answering.

You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to see if you had any mail and while you were there you just wanted to "see who's on".

You have a minicom phone and you aren't deaf.

You stop going over to your friend's house because they don't have mirc.

You start typing in your sleep.

You keep logs on file for the memories.

Your service provider calls *you* for technical support.

You once devoted your weekend to "work on your popups".

You have over 2Gb of wave files ("2 Gb, is that all!?!")

You have to get a 2nd phone line so you can ring 'Pizza Hut'.

You begin to say hehehehehe instead of laughing.

You watch tv and you keep saying "that would make a good WAV file!"

You name your pets after people on mirc.

You say that you are hiding under a chair, then actually go and do it.

You start school one day and wish you could /ignore everyone.

You start getting withdrawal symptoms during dinner and raise your hand and say "op me !!"

You say to someone annoying, "This is your final warning, next time you will be kicked !"

You dream in HTML.