Go to the desktop, and hit Print Screen.
Open Paint, and go to Paste.
Stretch the image of the desktop out, save it, and set it as the background.
Now you can do one of two things - Move all the icons over, hit Print screen and repeat the process over and over till there are a billion icons, with only a few actually working, or just delete all the icons.
The icons will still appear as a part of the background, so they won't work when you try to click them.