Things you would like to say at work
1. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
2. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
3. Do I look like a people person?
4. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
5. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. You!... Off my planet!
9. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
10. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
11. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
12. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
13. Allow me to introduce my selves.
14. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
15. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
16. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
17. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
18. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
19. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
20. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
21. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
22. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
23. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
24. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
25. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.