A bunch of one line computer jokes.
Home

Downloadable Pranks
Prank Stories
Media Humor
Funny Images
Online Fun
Funny Software
Computer Jokes
Humor Postcards

PRANKS and GAGS - looking for more? Click Here!

Magnetic Prank Car Signs!

Get your FART on!

Welcome to ComputerPranks.com!
Whats NewSubmitHelpContact UsAdvertisingSite MapLink to UsHome
   
You are here:
Computer Jokes : Miscellaneous

One Liners  Ha! Ha! Ha! Send This to a friend! 10,199 hits
Rated: G     


Submitted by: Alexander Lindelof
Date Added: 7/16/2000
Rate this Item!
1=sucks, 5=best
laughs


Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.

My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.

C:\WIN95 C:\WIN95\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

>>>>>-------- The information went data way -------->

Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

The name is Baud......, James Baud.

BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

Access denied -- neener, neener, neener!

C:\> Bad, bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name!"

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.

E Pluribus Modem

C:\> File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

A mainframe: the biggest PC peripheral available.

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.

11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

Windows: Just another pain in the glass.

SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

Who's General Failure, & why's he reading my disk?

Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

All computers wait at the same speed.

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to continue ...

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q

Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

Read my chips: No new upgrades!

Hit any user to continue.

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.

Relax, it's only ONES and ZEROS!

Hardware: The parts of a computer you can kick!

error: brain fried, core dumped

640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates '81

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message.

THINK -- it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

But what ... is it good for? -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.


 
©2020 ComputerPranks.Com All rights reserved. Privacy Policy
A bunch of one line computer jokes.